Im going crazy and want to walk infront of a bus

Ive hv spent 6 going on 7 years trying to get help with dealing with my pain I hv done everything I could to fix or at least get to a point of tolerance surgery injection s tens units medical marijuana pain meds the only thing that has helped or at least made it so I can maintain some what normal life is opiate s the medical marijuana has helped me sleep thank god but the docs cut out the opiate s completely I cant use the marijuana during day at all it just makes me want to sleep and I try to maintain my job with the help of intermittent family medical leave act but now with the mmp I cant get a long care pain management doctor to bring me in if I dont get help soon im going to kill myself seriously I cant handle it I need to be able to live a some what normal life and that was the only thing that helps me to do so and now I cant get help because we hv politician dictating our treatments over seven years I was only tk 15 mg Percocet and 50gm morphine sulfate not to bad considering if anyone knows someone in south jersey are that will tk in new patient plrase help because if I dont get the help truly needed im dead real soon and to all u fakers who has caused all us who are truly in pain to suffer more because of it I hope a house falls on u so you can get a taste pf what we hv to Indore do to your foolishness

Im going crazy and want to walk infront of a bus